Holidays are coming: the Christmas advert rush...

is it not bad enough that I am sat here surrounded by people watching the X-factor?

how special to sit here in their company and suddenly, barely one week into November, to be treated to the premiere of John Lewis's bloody Christmas advert.

and before it even begins, I know exactly what to expect from it...

in fitting with the standard Christmas advertisement formula, the rules dictate that we must have a rather twee and whimsical female voice trotting out a cover version in a rather twee and whimsical style.

we've already had Ellie Goulding selling her soul to cover Elton John and gain herself unrivalled access to Royal shindigs and recent years have seen The Smiths and Frankie Goes to Hollywood surely secured a few extra quid in their pockets after the same saccharine fate befell each of them in the extended advent season.

Surely Lily Allen (or at least her shrewd management team) have spotted this trend and jumped on the prematurely departing bandwagon, arriving just ahead of the brightly lit Coca-Cola lorry that is bound to be with us any minute now, and don't be surprised if a Keane greatest hits finds its way in amongst your stocking fillers alongside Morrissey's autobiography, otherwise the combined might of these Naughties stars has been squandered.

Frankly, I'm sick of the usual tricks trotted out by the usual suspects... a snow flurry and a cover version gift wrapped in a female vocal and a quick tug on the heart strings, chuck in some mince pies with a pre-December 'use by' date and our modern, expertly marketed christmas is complete.

Misha B

As the years keep progressing, I must admit that with each passing series I am subjected to more and more x-factor than I'd care to admit to.

And even when my viewing is kept to an absolute minimum, the contestants of 2011 are the ones that I had a greater awareness of and as a consequence, actually formed opinions on.

for all my kicking and screaming, there was one episode (and one performance in particular) that silenced my moaning and had me having to pick my jaw backup from off the floor.

Misha B was an absolute revelation to me, and her unique rendition of the already ubiquitous Rolling In The Deep was a thoroughly brave choice, refixing it with her own larger than life interpretation that was far too good to simply stand as just another entry in the UK's largest karaoke competition.



It would have made me happy to have seen her win the whole thing, but to be honest, she was far better than that, she didn't belong there, but it gave her a welcome exposure that it would have been hard to find elsewhere.

Now the time has come for her to throw off the shackles of Simon Cowells talent show albatross and make a name for herself independent of the normal reality tv expectations of drab cover versions.

more recent efforts by ex-X-contestants seem to have wizened up to the fickle music business and far more time and thought are put into post-TV careers.

But Misha B should be the star that outshines the rest of her peers, if she is willing to flaunt her obvious talent and exploit her previous TV notoriety to reach the maximum audience possible, she should live up to my high expectations.
 

how original is The Voice?

it's a Saturday night and I am home infront of the telly.

it may be time to admit that my life has slowed to a worrying pace as i join my girlfriend, and probably the rest of the nation, watching BBC's The Voice. 

yes, dire times indeed, but at least it fuels my mind for blog fodder.

you'll be relieved to know that I haven't been tuning in every week, but there have been a number of weeks when I have caught the 'blind' auditions and found it to be an interesting alternative to the standard X-factor format (although I can hardly claim to be an expert on it), it wasn't quite reinventing the wheel but the real difference that stood it apart was the fact that some contestants were able to choose between mentors if chosen by more than one of the judges, and that these judges could only fill ten slots on their team, meaning will.i.am, Jessie J, Tom Jones and the other one from The Script were all playing their own games to out-psych their competition and also bide their time to pick a strong team.

the very concept of The Voice was the strength of an individual's voice, so presumably everyone was vetted and there is no need for 'novelty' acts to fill the airtime, and anything that places Cassius Henry back in the public eye is alright by me (hey, can we maybe get Aaron Soul making a comeback next year?)





the real challenge would be to see how the mentoring and the representing of theses teams played out and whether this show would continue to pique my interest.

singing against each other in a boxing ring didn't sound bad if only the show wasn't on so long for me to not even bother tuning in when I noticed a repeat on BBC3 that dragged on for an hour and a half. and so, the live shows.


oh, hang on, this seems familiar.

like I said, i'm no expert, but isn't this what happens on the X-factor?

oh, and the result show is tomorrow.

I must admit I care a lot less now.


celebrities mentoring contestants as we yet again search for another new reality tv star...

oh hang on, this really does seem familiar.

other than the new spin on the selection process, it appears that the BBC is pretty much pulling the same shtick that it did ten years ago with Fame Academy only this time we have will.i.am, Jessie J, Tom Jones and the one from The Script working full-time instead of Ronan Keating and Mariah Carey casually dropping by to offer advice

yeah, the beeb found something real special when they picked up The Voice

and maybe we'll have found someone really special by the time the show runs its course

although if the contestants were told that they have the chance of becoming the next Alex Parks, maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't have bothered

 

is it too late to moan about matt cardle?

muchos congratulations are in order for Biffy Clyro, who in the year of our Lord two thousand and ten, managed to land themselves the verily celebrated Christmas number 1 slot

except somebody else was actually singing their song, and he was at number one


so unless you've been living under a rock as big as Simon Cowell's ego, you should be well aware of Matt Cardle and his gawd-awful rendition of Many of Horror

oh, hang, it's When We Collide is it? i'm sorry, i was mistaken


not that it matters a jot but i am not happy about this

and i think it was the wrong choice for a number of reasons

first off, it sounds terrible, and to be honest i think that should have actually been the final decision made, it is a terrible version of the song, full stop. end of discussion.

except i shall discuss a little further, seriously, if Monsieur Cardle had played it straight and given us an off-the-bat acousticy version then perhaps i may have been a little more forgiving, but squeeling the song and bringing in a rather obvious attempt at a 'large' x-factor chorus was just a stretch too far and the whole thing tumbles down because of it

perhaps this cover version was supposed to bolster Cardle's 'real' credentials and work an angle not yet exhausted by x-factor winners, attempting to secure those 'real' music fans deluded and foolish enough to continuously watch week in and week out yet couldn't give a flying toss about following the eventual winner's newly launched career... if only i could believe that Dannii Minogue and Matt Cardle spent evenings in the judges house blasting out Only Revolutions, arguing whether Puzzleis superior to Infinity Landand discussing whether Living's A Problem Because Everything Dies would be a good choice for the live finals

and the most convincing argument i could possibly make for this crime against music is the entirely debauched ill-fit of the whole thing, those that know Biffy Clyro also know of their struggles and their resilience against the turgid tide of the music industry, being one of the rare breed of bands that grew naturally away from the glaring eyes of fat-cat label bosses intent on profitability and only found mainstream success with their fourth album, slowly and steadily cultivating a fanbase that has taken them from cult-favourites to an arena-visiting touring schedule.



it is this hard-working ethic that sets Biffy Clyro apart from the overnight success guaranteed by the X-factor, but at the same time it also serves as a shining example of how far the Kilmarnock boys have come through years of persistence that has some how put them on Simon Cowell's radar and seen a single that entered the charts at the low end of the top 40 when it was originally released 11 months prior to the Christmas chart battle, landing at a rather respectable number 8, in addition to penning the festive season's chart topper and netting themselves a ridiculous pile of royalty cash from the surprisingly popular x-factor atrocity

and while it is hardly the circumstances that any Biffy fan would have reasonably envisioned, i couldn't possibly begrudge Biffy Clyro this current level of success (and ridiculous wealth)

Biffy Clyro - Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies
available on the album Puzzle